I wrote this a while back, but just rediscovered it. Enjoy!
If I knew how to play my own guitar
I sometimes think that then I’d have arrived
I’d play Stones, Ramones, and Sabbath… be a star!
Be metal-er than anyone alive
These fond delusions last about as long
Well, to be honest, long as it usually takes
To butcher,mutilate one of my songs
I clutch the too-big frets until it aches
Pitifully I flail and quickly tire
Return the beast to dusty hibernation
Were I Jimi I’d just set the thing on fire
I lack such pure demonic inspiration
But I’m no Hendrix, nor was meant to be…
My ukulele’s good enough for me!
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.-T.S. Eliot
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