I wrote this a while back, but just rediscovered it. Enjoy!
If I knew how to play my own guitar
I sometimes think that then I’d have arrived
I’d play Stones, Ramones, and Sabbath… be a star!
Be metal-er than anyone alive
These fond delusions last about as long
Well, to be honest, long as it usually takes
To butcher,mutilate one of my songs
I clutch the too-big frets until it aches
Pitifully I flail and quickly tire
Return the beast to dusty hibernation
Were I Jimi I’d just set the thing on fire
I lack such pure demonic inspiration
But I’m no Hendrix, nor was meant to be…
My ukulele’s good enough for me!